Pairings/Characters: Tommy Merlyn/Oliver Queen, Tommy Merlyn/Felicity Smoak/Oliver Queen - Tommy Merlyn, Oliver Queen, Felicity Smoak, John Diggle, Laurel Lance, Thea Queen, Malcolm Merlyn, Moira Queen
Summary: Oliver and Tommy work through their issues and come to a realization about each other, with Felicity's help. Tommy's POV.
Timeline: Starts during episode 1x19 (Unfinished Business) and re-writes the rest of the season.
Word Count: 45,000 total / ~3,700 this chapter
Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over these characters. I am merely borrowing them (and some of their words) from Greg Berlanti, Marc Guggenheim, and Andrew Kreisberg.
Betas: Big huge thank you to angelskuuipo for being the best sounding board and hand holder I could ask for. You really helped me when I was struggling with re-writing some of these chapters and this story wouldn't be what it is without your help. Thanks also to apckrfan for lending a second set of eyes.
Author's Note 1: Title from the song "The Feeling" by Justin Bieber (featuring Halsey).
Catch up on LJ or AO3.
Author's Note: Starts at the end of 1x20 (Home Invasion). Some dialogue borrowed from episode.
Tommy stood by the stairs, arms crossed over his chest, watching as Detective Lance questioned Oliver about the dead bodyguards and assassin in the vestibule of Queen Manor. Lance didn't look like he believed what Oliver was saying. Smart man. Feeling a sudden need to help protect Oliver's story, Tommy piped up. "Mr. Robbins was a real hero. If it weren't for him, we'd all be dead."
The derision was written all over Lance's face. He wasn't the least bit surprised that Tommy would back Oliver's story. "I've got enough details for my report. I'll clear my boys out of here. Let's go."
Oliver walked past him, but then turned to watch Lance go. Or, rather, to watch Laurel take Taylor back upstairs.
"You still love her. Don't you?" Tommy asked, watching Laurel until she was out of view before turning to face Oliver.
"It doesn't matter how I feel. Because of what I do I could never be with her. You see, you don't have anything to be afraid of. She is never, ever, going to know my secret," Oliver promised.
"It doesn't matter if she knows. I know. And I don't know how to be with Laurel knowing the entire time, that if she ever found out who you really are, she would choose you."
Tommy turned and began to climb the stairs, intent on grabbing his overnight bag so they could go back to Laurel's.
Oliver caught up with him on the landing. "Tommy, wait."
"There's nothing more to talk about," Tommy insisted, continuing up the stairs.
Oliver bounded ahead of him, blocking his path. "I disagree."
Tommy brushed past him and Oliver followed. Tommy hoped that Oliver wouldn't follow him all the way to the room he and Laurel were supposed to share.
As they reached Oliver's bedroom, Tommy breathed a sigh of relief when Oliver opened the door, only to have it stolen from him when he was yanked into the room as well, the door closing behind him.
"What the hell, Ollie?" Tommy practically yelled.
"We need to talk about this," Oliver insisted, leaning against the door and folding his impressive arms across his chest.
Tommy threw his hands up, pacing away from him. "Talk about what? I'm not telling Lance that you're the Hood. I'm not going to date Laurel anymore either. What more is there to discuss?"
"You can't break up with Laurel," Oliver stated.
"I can't…" Tommy was flabbergasted. "Excuse me? You have no say in who I date. Ever."
Oliver winced. "What I meant to say is that you can't break up with Laurel because of me."
"Look, Oliver," Tommy started, "I know that when you and Laurel were together you had no trouble lying to her. I never understood how you could cheat on and lie to such a great girl, to be honest. But I am not you. I can't lie to her at every turn, even if it's a lie of omission. I won't."
Despite his fear at what Oliver would see; Tommy met his eyes.
Oliver inhaled sharply and stumbled from the door to his bed. Tommy knew that he got it.
"You're choosing me over her?" Oliver said, lost eyes looking up at Tommy. Too much emotion swirled through the blue depths, giving Tommy a sliver of hope.
Tommy crossed to sit next to Oliver on the bed, close enough that their thighs were pressed together. "I will always choose you. Even when I'm mad at you and hate some of your life choices, I am always going to have your back."
He'd been staring at Oliver's hands while he'd been talking. Oliver was rubbing his right thumb and fingers together, a tick he didn't have prior to the Island. His knuckles were red and bloody. Tommy reached out and took the hand closest to him in his as he finished speaking.
"Tommy…" Oliver choked out, squeezing his hand.
Tommy leaned into Oliver, intending to pull him into a hug, but it seemed Oliver had other ideas.
Oliver reached up with his free hand to guide Tommy's head towards his as he pulled him into a tentative kiss.
Tommy's eyes widened in shock. While the kiss was unexpected, it was very much desired.
He pulled his hand free from Oliver's, and before he could get the wrong idea, he brought both hands up to pull Oliver's face closer, deepening the kiss. Oliver groaned against his mouth and pulled Tommy closer.
Oliver chased Tommy's tongue as he pulled back several minutes later, growling in disappointment that the kiss seemed to be ending.
Tommy laughed. "Did you just growl at me?"
Oliver blinked. "Uh, yeah, I guess I did." He hung his head sheepishly, looking up at Tommy through his eyelashes. "As you may have noticed, the Island left me a little more feral than I used to be."
"I wasn't complaining," Tommy admitted. "That was actually pretty damn hot."
"You don't say?" Oliver said, using his Hood voice and growling again as he pounced on Tommy. Tommy fell back on the bed, laughing, hating that that voice went straight to his cock. He should not be turned on by the Vigilante's growly voice. He doubted that if it was anyone but Oliver that he would have been.
All thoughts swiftly drained out of Tommy's head as Oliver claimed his mouth, immediately pressing his tongue between his parted lips, stroking it against his own.
Tommy ran his hands over Oliver's back, feeling the muscle definition, and the scars, that hadn't been there before he'd
When they finally parted for air, both panting, Oliver whispered, "It's been way too long since we've done that."
Tommy licked his lips, chasing the taste of Oliver. "I didn't think you'd be interested. Not after so long. Not with how hard you seemed to pursue Laurel when you got back," he admitted.
Oliver sighed and started to pull away, but Tommy held him close, causing Oliver to adjust his body so that he was propped up on one elbow lying on his side.
"My desire to get close to Laurel had less to do with wanting to get back together than it was to make amends," Oliver admitted, toying with the zipper on Tommy's sweater.
"I thought your love for Laurel was what helped you survive on the Island," Tommy retorted, trying not to sound bitter. "At least that's what you kept telling everyone."
"It's what I told myself. I had this photo of Laurel that she gave to me on the dock as I was getting ready to leave on the Gambit with Sara. Sara died because of me and all that I wanted to do was have Laurel not hate me for it. I told myself that she would forgive me, like she'd forgiven me for all of the other girls." Oliver shook his head. "I was an idiot."
"You kind of were," Tommy said, smiling.
"So much for always having my back," Oliver pouted, playfully. It was much sexier than it should have been.
"Ollie, you cheated on Laurel with her baby sister, who died as a result." Tommy tried not to wince at the look of pain that flashed across Oliver's face. "She was never going to get back together with you."
"I know that now. I know that it will never happen again between Laurel and me. That doesn't mean you can't still make it work with her."
Tommy reached up to trace the line of Oliver's jaw. "This has got to be the most surreal conversation of my life." When Oliver just quirked an eyebrow at him, he continued. "I'm lying here, on your bed, in your arms, after some incredible kisses with you, and you're trying to get me to not break up with your ex-girlfriend. That's seriously fucked up."
Oliver shrugged. "I want you to be happy. Both of you."
"And you don't think you can make me happy?" Tommy guessed.
"I…" Oliver stopped and frowned, as if the thought had never even occurred to him. "Are you saying that you want me to make you happy?"
Tommy waggled his eyebrows lasciviously, causing Oliver to laugh. "I'm being serious, Tommy."
"You're being too serious," Tommy countered. Sobering, he added, "Don't tell me you've never thought about it."
"Us fooling around, of course. It's not like we haven't done that before. But us as a...couple," he shook his head, "I never let myself think about it."
"Because it's not something you want?" Tommy pressed.
"Because it's not something I let myself want. Tommy, be honest, if we had ever tried to be together before, really be together and not just fucked around, it never would have worked. Our fathers would never have let it work."
"Well, my father has already cut me off," Tommy pointed out. "So that's no deterrent now. Neither is your father. Perhaps your womanizing tendencies..."
"You're one to talk, Mr. Never Been in a Serious Relationship Until Recently."
"So you're saying you want to be with me, but you'd miss being with women?" Tommy asked.
"Is that what you're saying?" Oliver countered.
"Once again, I point out that this conversation is a bit ridiculous," Tommy huffed.
"Fine," Oliver sighed. "I haven't let myself get serious about anyone since I've been back because what I do is dangerous. I can't risk putting anyone I care about in danger. Especially you. Just look at what happened with McKenna."
"As you might have noticed, I'm already in danger. Or did you already forget about the dead bodyguards and assassin downstairs; or Helena nearly breaking my arm?" Tommy pointed out. "If I'm willing to take the risk to be with you, I think you should let me. You deserve to be happy, too. And I'm more than willing to be the one to make you happy."
Oliver leaned down to kiss Tommy again, pouring everything he was feeling and unable to say into the kiss. Oliver was starting to pull down the zipper to remove Tommy's sweater when there was a knock at the door.
"Ollie, have you seen Tommy?" Laurel's voice called out, separating them faster than a bucket of ice water.
"Shit," Tommy swore quietly.
Both men stood up and Oliver crossed to open the door.
"Laurel, hi," Oliver said, keeping his lower body as much behind the door as possible. "Yeah, Tommy's in here."
Tommy quickly moved into view, trying to not look guilty and probably failing.
Laurel gave them each a curious look, before focusing on Tommy. "I just wondered if you were coming to bed soon."
"Right. Sorry, Ollie and I got to talking and lost track of time. You didn't want to go back to your place?"
"I did, but it's really late and Taylor was exhausted. I didn't want to uproot him more than I had to. We'll go back to my place in the morning." She turned to Oliver, "Your mom said that was okay."
"Of course," Oliver quickly agreed. "Stay as long as you want."
"Go get ready for bed," Tommy said, leaning over to kiss Laurel's cheek. "I'll be right there. Ollie and I just need a few more minutes to finish our discussion."
Laurel tilted her head but didn't question him. "Okay. Good night, Ollie. Thanks again, for everything."
Oliver smiled. "You're welcome. Good night."
Once Laurel moved away down the hallway, Oliver shut the door and closed the distance between himself and Tommy. Tommy met him halfway as they reached for each other, meeting in a messy kiss.
"I'm breaking up with Laurel tomorrow," Tommy said, his forehead pressed against Oliver's. "We are going to see where this leads, once and for all."
"Move in here," Oliver suggested.
"Getting a little ahead of yourself there, aren't you? Moving in together is a big step," Tommy teased, leaning back so he could see Oliver's expression.
An expression that was rolling its eyes at him. "Not 'move in with me'. Just, 'move in here'. Take your old room. It's not like there haven't been times you practically lived here in the past. My mom won't question it."
"You do know that I have my own apartment," Tommy pointed out. One look at Oliver's pleading eyes made him sneak a quick kiss and say, "Okay, but just for a few days. Call it a post-breakup hide-out or something. You talk to your mom after we leave tomorrow."
"And we'll talk more about the no more women thing," Oliver said, cheekily.
"Oh, I've already got a solution for that," Tommy said, grinning.
"Really? In the ten minutes since we started talking about it, you have a solution? You haven't even broken up with Laurel yet." Oliver balked. "It's not Laurel, is it? Because that would be a terrible idea."
"No, not Laurel. Although I'm not sure why we never tried that with her instead of only random women," Tommy wondered aloud. "I'm referring to a certain blonde computer genius whose babbling tendencies you seem to have picked up."
"Felicity?" Oliver asked.
"C'mon, man, don't tell me you never thought about being with her."
"Of course I have. Not! I wouldn't… We work together." Oliver tripped over his words, causing Tommy's grin to widen. "What makes you think she'd even be interested?"
"Don't try to deny that you haven't seen the way she looks at you. I've only been in the basement once with you guys and you barely had your shirt on at all; and don't tell me because it's warm down there. It's not. You want her to look at you."
"She's too good for me," Oliver countered.
Tommy shook his head. "I think she should be the judge of that."
"Besides, even if she is interested in me, which I'm not saying she is, how do you even know she'd be interested in being with both of us? It would be both of us, right?" Oliver nervously asked.
"Yes, it would be both of us; and let's just say that I have a hunch," Tommy said.
Oliver pulled Tommy back to him back for a long kiss. "I hate sending you back to her right now."
"I'm not looking forward to it either. I've never cheated on Laurel before," Tommy admitted.
"You won't be for long," Oliver promised. "Just slip into bed and claim exhaustion."
"That would not be a lie," Tommy agreed. He kissed Oliver one more time before pulling away.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, dragging a hand over Oliver's ass as he stepped around him.
Tommy's room at the Queen mansion hadn't changed much since he was eight years old. It was virtually a replica of Oliver's room, only not quite so large. Since Oliver was his best friend, and their parents had been good friends, Tommy had spent a lot of time in this room as a child. Probably more than at his own home those first couple of years after his mom died.
He felt safe there.
Then why was Tommy sitting on the love seat feeling more unsure about life than ever before?
He was fairly certain that it had everything to do with the man whose room was only two doors down the hallway.
Tommy felt like he was on an emotional roller coaster. Within the past few months Oliver had returned from the dead, Laurel had agreed to date him, his father had cut him off, he'd found out that Oliver was a killer vigilante, he'd broken up with Laurel, and was now in a fledgling relationship with Oliver.
Breaking up with Laurel had been as hard as he'd thought it would be. His timing was terrible, given how attached she was letting herself get to Taylor before his grandparents came to get him. He knew there'd been no warning signs, aside from the secret he was keeping about Oliver's nighttime activities.
Her tears had nearly done him in, but it as much as he loved her, he'd loved Oliver a lot longer.
Oliver was the love that could never be.
He was that forbidden drunken indulgence in high school and college. When they were drunk or high they could brush their indiscretions off as something that only happened under the influence. It didn't really mean anything.
Except that it did, at least for Tommy, it always meant something. And every time they'd given in, it only made him crave Oliver more.
Until Oliver had died. He'd mourned for a long time after the Gambit went down. When he wasn't at school finishing up his business degree, he'd stayed with the Queens. He'd leaned on Moira and Thea and they'd leaned on him. He liked to think that his presence there helped them through that difficult time as much as it had helped him.
That had been the last time he'd stayed in this room, come to think of it.
He'd still come over to spend time with Thea, trying to be a brother to her, but he hadn't spent the night in years.
All it had taken was one pleading look from Oliver and he'd caved.
He and Oliver had had dinner with the Queen women earlier that night before heading to Verdant, in separate cars. Tommy had joked that if they were living together the least they could do was carpool, but Oliver wasn't sure if he'd be able to leave when Tommy was ready and insisted on going in separately.
It turned out to be a good call. Tommy was fully staffed that night and decided he didn't need to be there all night. When he'd gone down to tell Oliver, he was busy working out and Tommy didn't want to disturb him, so he asked Felicity to let Oliver know he'd gone home.
After showering and changing into pajama pants and a t-shirt, Tommy was now idly flipping through the channels on his TV, not really in the mood to watch anything in particular. He turned the TV off completely at the soft knock on his door.
"Come in," he called out.
"Good, you're here," Oliver said, closing the door before crossing to sit next to Tommy.
"Where else would I be?" Tommy asked, taking the open beer Oliver handed him.
"When Felicity said you were going home, I wasn't sure which home you'd go to," Oliver admitted.
Tommy covered one of Oliver's hands with one of his. "Hey, I said I would stay here for a few days, so until that ends, here is home." He didn't say that home was where Oliver was. It was too soon for sentiments like that.
"I just really wanted to see you tonight," Oliver sighed, tugging Tommy closer with their joined hands.
Tommy obligingly scooted closer. "Is everything okay?"
Oliver shook his head and took a pull from his beer.
"Digg's gone," Oliver finally said.
"What?! Did Deadshot get him?" Tommy demanded.
"Deadshot? What are you talk--" Oliver's eyes widened, realizing how that had sounded. "No, he's not dead. He left. He's not going to help me anymore."
Tommy collapsed back. "Don't do that to me."
"I'm sorry, I didn't think about how that would sound," he apologized, leaning closer so he could do so properly.
Tommy kissed him back desperately. This was what he feared the most right now. He'd just gotten Oliver back. He'd just gotten him the way he'd always wanted him. He couldn't lose him now.
When he pulled back, Oliver left his hand on the back of Tommy's neck, fingers idly playing with the hair at the nape.
"Tell me what happened," Tommy requested, when he could speak again.
"It was because I didn't go to help him stop Deadshot." Oliver sighed. "I knew he'd be upset, but I didn't realize he'd be this angry."
"Do you regret not going?" Tommy asked, knowing that was the same night they had admitted to their attraction.
"Not for one second," Oliver insisted. "I don't regret being here to stop that assassin. Or what happened between us afterwards. I do regret that I wasn't able to be there to help Digg at the same time."
"He'll come around," Tommy said. "I did."
"It's not the same," Oliver said.
"I know," Tommy acknowledged. "But hopefully once he's cooled off he'll remember that this was his mission, too, and he'll come back."
"I hope so. I don't know how long I can do this without him and Felicity," Oliver admitted.
"Felicity didn't quit too, did she?" Tommy asked, nervously.
"She's a little frustrated with me because of Digg leaving, but no, she hasn't left, yet."
"Good," Tommy said, letting the playfulness back into his voice. "We may need her later, after all."
"You weren't serious about her joining us, were you?" Oliver asked, freezing.
"Absolutely," Tommy grinned, kissing the shocked expression off of Oliver's face.
"I don't think she'd go for it," Oliver weakly protested. "She's not like the girls we used to share."
"The ones who only slept with us because of our money? No, she's not," Tommy agreed. "She's so much better."
"Stop trying to find excuses," Tommy said, bringing his hands up to frame Oliver's face. "Let me ease her into the idea. I guarantee you, when we're ready to bring someone else into our bed, she'll be the one."
Oliver licked his lips as his eyes darkened with arousal. "Our bed," he croaked.
"Oh, yes," Tommy virtually purred. He glanced behind him. "And look, there's one right over there."
Something sad flashed through Oliver's eyes before his arousal was back. "Tommy." His voice said everything with that one word. He wasn't ready.
"Just to sleep," Tommy promised.
Oliver closed his eyes and sighed. "To sleep. Okay."
Tommy stood and pulled Oliver to his feet. They left their unfinished beers on the table and made their way to the bed, pulling each other close once they were under the covers.
"I'm really glad that you're here," Oliver said.
"So am I," Tommy said, snuggling closer to Oliver's warm body. "So am I."
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